vulnerability and what it means to be wholehearted.

one of the best ideas i've heard in a while - the concept and theory of wholeheartedness, shared by brene brown, phd, from the university of houston in texas. found via donald miller's blog with his notes here.

come autumn.

nothing inspires me more than creation, particularly when it is shifting between seasons, settling into yet another pattern, one that is familiar yet fresh and new each year.  invigorating as it is, change inherently involves the deadening of a thing and the subsequent coming forth of the living.


*images taken in and around starved rock park in illinois.

at home.

autumn.

fast forward from last spring to the present season - autumn - and much has changed in our lives. so much so, that i still feel my head spinning from the whirlwhind that was this summer. a brief recap:

:: in may, andrew graduated with his masters in psychology and studied for and passed his licensing exam.

:: in june, i graduated with my masters in nursing.

:: in july, i studied for and passed my licensing exam to become a full-fledged nurse.

:: since last april, andrew & i fretted, cried, prayed, agonized, and prayed some more as we began the long process of applying for jobs. with a couple of emotional exceptions (mostly agony), that process continues - in understanding and trust that the Lord has a plan.

:: in june, andrew began a new job as a therapist for families and children involved in the department of child and family services...tough stuff.

:: aug 1st, we left our 400-sq foot apartment behind. our third move in two years, and perhaps the most physically grueling - third floor with no elevator. eternal thanks to the friends that sweated that one with us. my joints are still aching.

:: at the end of august, after weeks of interviews, waiting and let downs, i gratefully started a new job as a nurse. with that, the blessing of relief for andrew & me...and the collective sigh of our simultaneous exhale as we released the tension of the past several months.

:: in august, a & i packed all our summer fun into a 2-week-span including a wisconsin backpacking trip, a visit to Granny in florida, and my cousin's aussie-texan wedding in san antonio.

and these are merely the high points - the tangible bullet points that we can point back to and say that happened.

now, as life tends to do when the gush of summer's flow lessens and trickles into autumn, things are slowing down. and the coming season of dormancy welcomes me with the opportunity for reflection.

right now, life is good. we're still in the midst of figuring things out - always will be - but God has taken care of us these past few months and years of grad school in big and little ways we weren't expecting. our family and our friends have too.

anyways, that's all for now. today, both andrew and i had the day off. i stayed home, i baked bread, i went to the grocery store. i did no homework or research or studying. outside, the leaves fell and so did the rain. it was peaceful.

and in our hearts, i know andrew and i will always be 2poorgradstudents.

summer-time.

this has been a strange summer. lots of transition and deadlines and applications with very little downtime. but when mom was here in june, we inevitably ended up in the china department at marshall field's because where else would we be. we nearly died over this deviled-egg dish because clearly, we're texan. the following week, i stocked the necessary goods for deviled-eggs, the quintessential summer-time treat. and contrary to popular deviled-egg dish lore purporting that these things only get used max once a year, my new deviled-egg dish has already housed multiple rounds of delectable eggs. m'mmm....thanks mom!

study break.

while studying for my last comprehensive exam ever in nursing school at one of our favorite little neighborhood spots, Fritz Pastry, i picked up these delectable macarons so that andrew and i could have a sweet little date in the midst of a terribly hectic and strung-out week. and at 75 cents a pop, they fit our little budget just right.

andrew's graduation.

on may 8th, andrew graduated.

we dressed, we drove - just barely getting there in time - for andrew to walk across the stage, shake hands, smile for cameras, and have his journey honored in a way that only a graduation ceremony can.

there was a moment when they asked spouses of graduates to stand. i felt that lump in my throat rise as i stood, realizing that these last two years have meant so much more than a degree.

for our marriage, for our friendship, for our sanity, we have struggled to rely on a strength not our own. at times, successfully; other times, not so.

nonetheless, in doing so, we reap immeasurably the graces of a God who knows no measure. He has sustained us when very little else could.

i know so much of our experience is perception, but these past two years have been tough. we've been stretched and bent and forced through some things. but it is all as it should have been. what a wonderful journey.

perhaps when things settle down, i'll find the pics...